You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he shaved USA in his pubs
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize