problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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