dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
