She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
