guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
smell my finger.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
