Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
