He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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