well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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