At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
