You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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