Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
