i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
