one two three fourrrrnication!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
