He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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