Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know her cup size but not her name....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
