well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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