i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Randomize
