i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
