i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
