we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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