i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize