I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
