I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
dude. I can hear the air.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
