was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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