he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
