hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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