My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
