So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize