Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
