my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Mom said you looked used
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
