After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
