she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
