Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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