Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
