You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
do herpes really smell.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
