Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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