Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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