operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
