accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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