So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
