You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
