They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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