Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
