no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Boobs are out for the taking
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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