Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
