Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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