I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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