dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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