WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
