Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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