Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well you can't waste a boner
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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