I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
