My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's official drugs can't kill me
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
