i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
