So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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