I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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