So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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