we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
