The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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