What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
